The Kids First Program for Women
The women who come to the Kids First Program for Women often feel that they are alone because the abusers in their lives have isolated them and cut them off from family and friends. When they hear the stories from other women, they let out a big sigh of relief and realize they are in a room "where people get it." Many women have been told for years that they are "no good", "crazy", and many other words that have chipped away at their self esteem. When they arrive at KFP for Women, they often feel that they really are "crazy." An important idea we talk about at the program is that they are "not crazy," but the situations they have come from "make them feel crazy." Story after story after story emphasizes the despair, the hurt, the emotional, physical, and verbal abuse they have suffered at the hands of their partners. The stories become overwhelming, but they are also important as a step toward getting their lives back and their power back. They begin to see what they need to do for themselves and for their children; for their children have lived lives of abuse as well.
It is so hard to make one's way back from years of abuse. Abusers minimize, deny, and blame. Many people feel that they are further victimized in a court system that makes it a "he said, she said” debate, especially if there are no physical signs of abuse or police reports to back up their claims. It is a very discouraging time for women, but we give them hope, tools, and skills during the Kids First Program for Women to help them move forward. Women often ask "why do they do this?" Our answer is "because they can."
As a society, we still need to be better at holding abusers, both men and women, accountable for their abuse and be better at believing survivors who share their horrible and troubling stories of abuse. Yes, most abusers can be very charming and believable in front of police, judges, lawyers, etc. It is time for society to believe this vulnerable group of victims; the men, women and children who suffer such emotional, verbal, and physical harm from the people who supposedly love them.
"What's love got to do with it?"
Betsy Van Betuw, LCSW
Kids First Program for Women facilitator
It is so hard to make one's way back from years of abuse. Abusers minimize, deny, and blame. Many people feel that they are further victimized in a court system that makes it a "he said, she said” debate, especially if there are no physical signs of abuse or police reports to back up their claims. It is a very discouraging time for women, but we give them hope, tools, and skills during the Kids First Program for Women to help them move forward. Women often ask "why do they do this?" Our answer is "because they can."
As a society, we still need to be better at holding abusers, both men and women, accountable for their abuse and be better at believing survivors who share their horrible and troubling stories of abuse. Yes, most abusers can be very charming and believable in front of police, judges, lawyers, etc. It is time for society to believe this vulnerable group of victims; the men, women and children who suffer such emotional, verbal, and physical harm from the people who supposedly love them.
"What's love got to do with it?"
Betsy Van Betuw, LCSW
Kids First Program for Women facilitator
