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2020 ANNUAL REPORT |
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OUR MISSION
Giving children a neutral place where they can freely express their feelings about the separation or divorce of their parents and better understand the changes in their families
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Equipping parents with the skills they need to work together to raise healthy and well-adjusted children through the transition of separation and divorce and beyond
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Providing resources, continuing education and collaboration opportunities for professionals who work with separating families
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Dear Friends,
The year 2020 will be remembered as one of great tragedy but also of remarkable resilience. It is the year that our institutions nearly failed, completely failed, or simply ceased operations for a while. We were told to stay home, mask up, and wait it out while a large segment of society shut down. For families, the usual resources for those struggling to cope--even in the best of times--went dark. The thousands of family court orders that govern how people co-parent their children all have one thing in common: none anticipated a global pandemic. Family court became mostly unavailable to parents looking for answers; indeed, families were unavailable to families. Because of circumstances beyond any control, many parents had to choose between not hugging or coming within six feet of their children and keeping them physically healthy. The impact on the mental health of our children remains uncertain.
In looking back at the "COVID Year," I keep reminding myself that it is also the year that families and children showed remarkable resiliency. It is reassuring to know that when parents and co-parents were asked to take care of one another and their children without having the usual institutions and resources to fall back upon, they did an amazing and incredible job! To this end, one big “take away” is that parents can and DO maintain workable, respectful, and mindful co-parenting arrangements without reliance on anyone telling them to do so. It takes cooperation and mutual respect. Courts are a safety net, but should be the last stop on a co-parenting journey--not the first. The Kids First message has always been that children thrive when PARENTS maintain the power to raise them without resorting to court guidance for every decision. In 2020 co-parents were challenged to compromise like never before and compromise they did. At Kids First, we are grateful to all the parents and children who demonstrated resilience in the face of a pandemic that continues to rage as I write this message to you. But, work remains to be done.
Given the number of our friends and family who lost their lives or who experienced terrible illness in 2020 and the universal grief of our community, I temper my enthusiasm for what the Kids First Center was able to accomplish this past year. I am happy and proud to report that while other institutions and resources shut down to families, the Kids First Center NEVER did. The office was closed to the public on March 16, 2020; that night, the Next Step program was offered via Zoom. Just three days later on March 19th, the First Step program went live via remote feed from our classroom turned TV studio, and we haven’t looked back since. By the end of the year, the numbers of parents attending programs online far exceeded those that came to live classes. I expect continued growth in 2021. All of Kids First programs are now remote and importantly the Center is reaching parents in all parts of Maine and beyond. Parents are learning and demonstrating that cooperative and mindful co-parenting is not only possible but absolutely necessary. The pandemic has highlighted just how important this peace and resilience is to our children. I believe that if the lessons from this pandemic are learned, then co-parenting relationships and our children will be that much stronger as we emerge from this unprecedented period. The Kids First Center too will emerge better poised to meet the needs of families, children, and professionals for years to come.
I am grateful to the Kids First Center staff and facilitators who have also shown great resilience. The Board of Directors has led with its decisions to accelerate the agency’s future by making that future vision today’s reality.
With gratitude and remembrance, I look forward to 2021.
Timothy Robbins,
Executive Director
January 2021
The year 2020 will be remembered as one of great tragedy but also of remarkable resilience. It is the year that our institutions nearly failed, completely failed, or simply ceased operations for a while. We were told to stay home, mask up, and wait it out while a large segment of society shut down. For families, the usual resources for those struggling to cope--even in the best of times--went dark. The thousands of family court orders that govern how people co-parent their children all have one thing in common: none anticipated a global pandemic. Family court became mostly unavailable to parents looking for answers; indeed, families were unavailable to families. Because of circumstances beyond any control, many parents had to choose between not hugging or coming within six feet of their children and keeping them physically healthy. The impact on the mental health of our children remains uncertain.
In looking back at the "COVID Year," I keep reminding myself that it is also the year that families and children showed remarkable resiliency. It is reassuring to know that when parents and co-parents were asked to take care of one another and their children without having the usual institutions and resources to fall back upon, they did an amazing and incredible job! To this end, one big “take away” is that parents can and DO maintain workable, respectful, and mindful co-parenting arrangements without reliance on anyone telling them to do so. It takes cooperation and mutual respect. Courts are a safety net, but should be the last stop on a co-parenting journey--not the first. The Kids First message has always been that children thrive when PARENTS maintain the power to raise them without resorting to court guidance for every decision. In 2020 co-parents were challenged to compromise like never before and compromise they did. At Kids First, we are grateful to all the parents and children who demonstrated resilience in the face of a pandemic that continues to rage as I write this message to you. But, work remains to be done.
Given the number of our friends and family who lost their lives or who experienced terrible illness in 2020 and the universal grief of our community, I temper my enthusiasm for what the Kids First Center was able to accomplish this past year. I am happy and proud to report that while other institutions and resources shut down to families, the Kids First Center NEVER did. The office was closed to the public on March 16, 2020; that night, the Next Step program was offered via Zoom. Just three days later on March 19th, the First Step program went live via remote feed from our classroom turned TV studio, and we haven’t looked back since. By the end of the year, the numbers of parents attending programs online far exceeded those that came to live classes. I expect continued growth in 2021. All of Kids First programs are now remote and importantly the Center is reaching parents in all parts of Maine and beyond. Parents are learning and demonstrating that cooperative and mindful co-parenting is not only possible but absolutely necessary. The pandemic has highlighted just how important this peace and resilience is to our children. I believe that if the lessons from this pandemic are learned, then co-parenting relationships and our children will be that much stronger as we emerge from this unprecedented period. The Kids First Center too will emerge better poised to meet the needs of families, children, and professionals for years to come.
I am grateful to the Kids First Center staff and facilitators who have also shown great resilience. The Board of Directors has led with its decisions to accelerate the agency’s future by making that future vision today’s reality.
With gratitude and remembrance, I look forward to 2021.
Timothy Robbins,
Executive Director
January 2021
OUR PROGRAMS
Kids First Program: The First Step
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The First Step is the initial four-hour program providing an understanding of co-parenting best practices, the separation/divorce process, and how to help children experiencing parental separation and conflict. Parents should attend as early in the separation or divorce process as possible or at any time when struggling to work with their children's other parent.
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"This class is great. I'm learning so much. I am changing specific behaviors starting TODAY. I'm grateful to you for giving me a sense of the larger picture." |
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The Next Step Program: Putting Conflict Aside
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This is a four-week program building on the concepts taught in the introductory class, The First Step, focusing on co-parenting skill building, managing conflict, and improving communication. Co-parenting partners may attend together, though it is not required.
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"The instructors did a great job in making the class atmosphere very comfortable. I learned a lot from the class. I really appreciated the instructors' patience when it came to hearing about our experiences and answering our questions. This class was very engaging. I really enjoyed it." |
Kids First for Kids! Remote
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Engaging and interactive resilience-building groups for school-aged kids whose families are experiencing a separation, divorce or step-family situation. Groups meet online after school once/week for three weeks.
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Kids First Program for Women
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This is a six-hour workshop designed for parents who identify as female who have left relationships where intimate partner abuse or domestic violence is present. This program provides information about parenting under these circumstances, about abuse, safety planning and community resources.
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"The course was excellent on knowledge and insight of the reality of DV and its effects on families as a whole." - - program participant |
Kids First Program for Parents with New Partners
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This four-hour workshop outlines challenges faced in parenting and co-parenting when new partners are introduced into the family. The impact of a new relationship on family systems is discussed, along with strategies for making this transition successful for children and to enhance the family experience for all. Open to parent and new partner, as well as parents who have not re-partnered but want to support their children in a blending family.
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"I learned to step back as the partner and let the parents be parents." |
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Intensive Co-Parenting Education (ICOPE)
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This intensive nine-week course is designed to build co-parenting skills for parents who are in high-conflict situations, either during separation and divorce or post-divorce. Psycho-educational programs such as this are predicated on the understanding that conflict resolution is about changing behaviors and actions, and not about changing feelings. Parents attending this course must be separated or divorced from each other, and will be assigned together into a 9-week session. Participation must be court-ordered by a judge or magistrate.
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"I learned that there is more than just his way and my way, we can come up with other alternatives if we put our heads together and take emotion out of it." |
OUR IMPACT
ANNUAL PROFESSIONAL CONFERENCE
KEEPING CHILDREN SAFE IN FAMILY MATTER CASES: INTERVENTIONS FOR FATHERS WHO ABUSE
The Kids First annual professional development conference also went virtual in 2020. Spanning over two-days, the conference explored the overlap of the exercise of parental rights and the exercise of abusive power and control. Over 114 multidisciplinary professionals representing attorneys, social workers, mental health professionals, judges, domestic violence prevention professionals, and mediators attended the event. Professor Katreena Scott, a world renowned researcher and expert in domestic violence interventions from the University of Toronto was the keynote speaker on Day 1 of the conference. Day 2 featured Professors Amy Holtzworth-Monroe and Amy Applegate, both from Indiana University who are engaged in cutting-edge research on how the history of domestic violence impacts the mediation process. Local experts joined our national and international guests to fill out the conference.
The conference explored male accountability when children and the court system itself are used as tools of power and leverage against the mothers of their children.The use of violence and the exercise of power and control against women and against children are intricately intertwined and these two issues can and should be addressed together. Each day judges are tasked with crafting parenting plans in family matters when evidence of coercive power and control are present, though often this evidence is very subtle...subtle to everyone but the survivor. These are the cases where there is no finding of abuse, but abuse in varying degrees exists nonetheless. Abuse that impacts not only mothers, but the children who become pawns to further a mostly unspoken control agenda. This conference examined abusive male behavior in divorce and parental rights cases and what interventions are available not only to lessen the risk to women and children but also to enhance the chances of children having loving relationships with their fathers.
The conference explored male accountability when children and the court system itself are used as tools of power and leverage against the mothers of their children.The use of violence and the exercise of power and control against women and against children are intricately intertwined and these two issues can and should be addressed together. Each day judges are tasked with crafting parenting plans in family matters when evidence of coercive power and control are present, though often this evidence is very subtle...subtle to everyone but the survivor. These are the cases where there is no finding of abuse, but abuse in varying degrees exists nonetheless. Abuse that impacts not only mothers, but the children who become pawns to further a mostly unspoken control agenda. This conference examined abusive male behavior in divorce and parental rights cases and what interventions are available not only to lessen the risk to women and children but also to enhance the chances of children having loving relationships with their fathers.
PROFESSIONAL TRAININGS, EDUCATIONAL WORKSHOPS
Online Facilitator Training in the CARING DADS intervention model, in partnership with Caring DadsTM
- As a follow-up to the professional conference. Dr. Katreena Scott and her team at the Caring Dads program based out of Toronto, Canada provided advanced IPV training to eight potential facilitators of the Caring Dads intervention model.
- The training was sponsored by Kids First and included several of its long-time presenters.
- Work continues in collaboration with Caring Dads to modify the curriculum to meet the needs of Maine families who are engaged in litigation in Family Court.
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Online Workshop in Partnership with Town & Country Federal Credit Union: UNCOUPLING YOUR MONEY IN SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
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The Kids First Center teamed with Town & Country Federal Credit Union to bring to Kids First clients and TCFCU members a primer on money and issues that arise when divorcing/separating. This seminar will be offered periodically in the future with 80 people registered for the virtual offering in 2020.
Educational Video
CO-PARENTING AND THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC: Kids First recognized very early in the pandemic the need to provide information to parents who had nowhere to turn for answers to the question, "How do I co-parent during a pandemic?" The agency produced a half-hour online video that discussed strategies for coping with the unprecedented disruption of our parenting lives. The video was made free on the Kids First website and YouTube channel. The content was developed by our Executive Director based upon the original work of the AFCC and AAML. Susan Wiggin, long-time presenter and Kids First Board of Directors President, was host.
CO-PARENTING AND THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC: Kids First recognized very early in the pandemic the need to provide information to parents who had nowhere to turn for answers to the question, "How do I co-parent during a pandemic?" The agency produced a half-hour online video that discussed strategies for coping with the unprecedented disruption of our parenting lives. The video was made free on the Kids First website and YouTube channel. The content was developed by our Executive Director based upon the original work of the AFCC and AAML. Susan Wiggin, long-time presenter and Kids First Board of Directors President, was host.
Virtual Training Session
Kids First provided Virtual training sessions to clinicians affiliated with SPURWINK. Through Spurwink’s Outpatient and Community Services division, Kids First provided training on the resources offered to families through the agency and discussed coping with co-parenting issues during the pandemic.
Kids First provided Virtual training sessions to clinicians affiliated with SPURWINK. Through Spurwink’s Outpatient and Community Services division, Kids First provided training on the resources offered to families through the agency and discussed coping with co-parenting issues during the pandemic.
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT
- Kids First's reach became STATEWIDE in 2020. Kids First welcomed parents from every county in Maine to its First Step program in 2020 representing 2,688 individual parents (927) and their children (1,761). As the COVID-19 "year" moved into the Fall, enrollment in all Kids First programs steadily increased.
- Studies into the efficacy of Kids First programming continued in 2020 with our research partner, the UNIVERSITY OF MAINE. According to the research, 1.9 children are impacted for each parent that participates in the First Step program.
- For the first time in many years, Kids First brought in Master's level interns from the UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN MAINE and the UNIVERSITY OF NEW ENGLAND to help support the mission, particularly in the area of online children's programming and support groups
- In 2020, Kids First commenced efforts to reach parents who are not involved with a court process, including outreach to health care providers and education professionals. Kids First programming has partnered with MAINEHEALTH to list its programming in its "Aunt Bertha" network resource guide. Kids First also was represented at the 2020 MAINE SCHOOL COUNSELOR ASSOCIATION and functions of the MAINE STATE BAR ASSOCIATION.
- Kid First Executive Director brought the agencies perspective to this work as a member of the FAMILY LAW ADVISORY COMMISSION and board member of the MAINE RESILIENCE BUILDING NETWORK.
OUR EVENTS
HOLIDAY BLOOM 2020
2020 brought with it many challenges, not the least of which was what to do about our annual live auction fundraiser? Online was the only way to do things safely, so with the help of our board, Event Planner and Bidding Owl, we put together a unique event for all! Trips, artwork, candy, professional batting instruction, spa treatments, gift certificates and so much more were offered up for bid and the community responded so generously!
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OUR TEAM
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STAFF
Executive Director Timothy E. Robbins, Esq. Special Projects Manager Mary M. Swann Program Coordinator Aniela Barr PROGRAM FACILITATORS
Karen Brown Lisa Chmelecki Alicia Cushing Terri DeCoster Anna D'Epiro Christine McNulty Grant Christopher Leddy Jeffrey Levy Betsy Van Betuw Pamela Waite David Webb Susan Wiggin Steve Young |
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SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR DONORS
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ANNUAL GIVERS
Cushman and Maureen Anthony Amanda Atkinson-Lewis Meghan Balvin Al Barthelman Adriana Bellerose Ellen Trout Bennett Jim Gorham and Kimberly Bridgham Franklin Brooks, LCSW Kristin Carlson Kimberly Chase Julie and Keith Cunningham Matt Daigneault Terri DeCoster Jeffrey and Denise Dickson Mark Eschenbrenner Estate of Carrie E. Jenkins Patricia and Edward Foden Barbara Freethy Mary Fuller Candice Marie Glennon Mary Godbey Zeki Gurcan Gillian Hall Peter and Debbie Hall Jennifer Harnish Patricia Harnish Scott Heffernan Maura Higgins Albert Hodgkins Pamela Holmes, Esq. Stephen Joffe, LCSW Jacqueline Lepine and Bucky Johnson Helen Kane Janet Kantz, Esq. Law & Mediation Office of David C. Webb Molly Lee Leonardo's Pizza Vilean Taggersell and Robert Levine Peg Libby Jacqueline Lindstedt Cameron Linen Harry Noel and Susan Livingston Sandra and Brian Livingston Margaret MacDougal Elizabeth Mahoney Betsey McCandless Joseph and Gloria Melnick Nancy Miller Janise Monaghan John and Livy More Shannon Morris Network For Good Robert Olney Harold and Peggy Osher Karen Pelletier, Esq. Hon. Keith Powers Will Stiles and Hilary Rapkin Mark Robbins Gigi Sanchez, Esq. Bob Yamartino and Maxine Sclar Neil Shankman, Esq. Peter Sherr Sandra Stone Maura Sullivan, PsyD Mary and Mark Swann Chelsea Torrey Pamela Trudo Betsy Van Betuw Erik Van Betuw Jake Voisine David C. Webb, Esq. Blake and Gibson Wilkes Megan Wolff Mark Woodbury Tammy Woodbury Jana Zimmerman Jane and Barry Zimmerman ANNUAL PROFESSIONAL CONFERENCE SPONSORS
Host and Sponsor Our Family Wizard Advocate Soberlink Partners Irwin & Morris, PA Scheffee Law Skelton, Taintor & Abbott Verrill Supporters Andrucki & King Child-Centered Solutions Rioux, Donahue, Chmelecki & Peltier Town & Country Federal Credit Union Steve Young, LCSW Friends Terri DeCoster, MS Law & Mediation Office of David C. Webb SPECIAL THANKS FOR SWIFT AND KIND RESPONSE TO FIRE Scarborough Fire Department Bibeau & Company Owner of 51 U.S. Route 1 |
GRANTORS
Agnes M. Lindsay Trust American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Foundation Bingham Program Margaret E. Burnham Charitable Trust Fisher Charitable Foundation Robert & Dorothy Goldberg Charitable Foundation Stephen & Tabitha King Foundation Morse Hill Trust Portland Provident Association RBC Foundation - USA Elmina B. Sewall Foundation Simmons Foundation Smith Family Charitable Trust Virginia Hodgkins Somers Foundation, Inc. United Way of York County HOLIDAY BLOOM HOST COMMITTEE
Al Barthelman Susan and Phillip Bixby Kimberly Bridgham and James Gorham Rufus Brown and Tommie Burke Terri DeCoster Law Office of Dawn D. Dyer, P.C. Meghan Ginzer, Esq. Ralph Good and James Nylund, GoodNylund Wealth Management Debbie and Peter Hall Jennifer Harnish Peg Libby Susan Livingston and Harry Noel Julie and Timothy Robbins Neil Shankman Matt Thornton and Quincy Hentzel Daniel and Chelsea Torrey Susan Veligor, Cornerstone Financial Planning Cheri Walker David and Vicki Webb Susan Wiggin HOLIDAY BLOOM SPONSORS
Premier Baker Newman Noyes Saco & Biddeford Savings Verrill Prestige Cross Benefit Solutions MittelAsen Scheffee Law Friends of Kids First Irwin & Morris, PA Kelly, Remmel & Zimmerman Our Family Wizard Shankman & Associates Legal Center Town & Country Federal Credit Union Supporters Cumberland Legal Aid Clinic Miller Law & Mediation, LLC HOLIDAY BLOOM AUCTION DONORS
Alaina Marie Anytime Fitness Aristelle Bard Coffee Big Moose Harley Davidson Colin Page Erin Flett Fiddleheads Flowers & Vintage Chic Gifts Flatbread Company Fusillo GoGo Refill H&E Paint Bar Hannaford Imperial Plumbing & Heating Inn at Ocean's Edge Izzi's Flowers Jennifer Davis Jerks of Grass Jibe Cycling Studio Jim Gorman/Kim Bridgham Len Libby Candies Low Tide Lumber Lulla Smith Mad Patti Hat Co. Maine Forest Yurt Maine Grains Mill Cove Baking MJ Benson Oasis Wellness Partners Pai Men Miyake Portland Paddle Rugged Seas Rwanda Bean Salty Girl Beauty Sarah Crawford Sea Glass Restaurant at Inn By The Sea Skillins Greenhouses Stroudwater Distillery Sugar Premium Face Masks Susan Naber Tara Morris The Woods Tiffany's Salon Town & County Federal Credit Union Waynflete |